The newest cowgirl in the west!
I got the job in Fort McMurray.
Now, bring on the paperwork!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
In the meantime...
So right now I'm on Facebook looking at pictures of tattoos, piercings, suspensions, and other body modifications. That's what inspires this post.
1. First of all, if you're going to show off your tattoo, get a decent sized picture of it. I can't see/compliment/critique it if I can't even tell what the hell it is.
2. If you're going to take a show off your piercings, please make sure you are posting a decent picture. I want to see your piercings, not how shitty your camera is.
3. By all means, feel free to post pictures of your brand-spanking-new ink on your foot, but ladies and gentlemen, please do this before taking the picture: trim your toenails, dig out any toejam, and if you're wearing nail polish on your probably ugly feet, make sure your photo is taken post-paint job.
4. If you have ugly feet, but have a tattoo on your foot, please crop out all of the ugly, misshapenness of your feet. Hell, Microsoft Paint will let you crop your photos.
5. Nape piercings, corset piercings, and other surface work can and will reject. Take the picture when it's all fresh, because anything after that point they're all scarred up, rejecting, and just nasty to look at.
6. If you are an observer of other people's work (namely ink), don't bother to leave a compliment if it's just really shitty work. Shaky lines do NOT deserve a "Wow, awesome!" It amazes me how people can lie to each other!
7. When you mix two types of tribal work, like Borneo meets Maori, it's "neo-tribal", whether you want to admit it to yourself or not.
8. Don't you people check the design before it gets put onto your body? Can't you see the lines are shaky, or maybe, I don't know, the artist CAN'T DRAW? What the hell is wrong with you?
9. Please, don't post a picture of you tattoo if it looks like it could have turned out better if it was drawn on with a Sharpie. As a matter of fact, don't show it off at all. Just pull a Nelly and wear a bandaid over it. Or scrub it off. With a cheese grater.
10. Only one picture of your last suspension experience will suffice, thank you.
11. I don't need half a dozen close ups of your tattoo. Again, just one will suffice.
12. If you're tattoo is finally healed, SCRUB THE TAPE RESIDUE from around it! You've been walking around with sticky shit around your tattoo for a week? You filthy bastard...
13. It's been done before. I know. You know. We all know, but I'd be a bit pissed if I showed off a picture of my ink and have someone say "I wanted something exactly like that! Lololol!" Fuck you, it's my ink. I don't want myself associated with your dumb ass.
14. Ashy tattoos are not sexy. If it's supposed to be in red ink, and it looks pink because your skin is as dry as the desert just outside of Las Vegas, do something. Please, moisturize before snapping that photo. Also, if you have chapped lips and you want to take a pic of you new lipring, at the very least lick your lips before taking the picture. You don't have to take the picture right away, so I actually suggest waiting after you've gone through a rigorous moisturizing regimen before posting.
15. If you're not Japanese, and don't write Japanese, DON'T FUCKING GET a Japanese tattoo! You don't know what it means, and sometimes shit like that can end up drawn sideways, backwards, and even upside-down. Don't believe me? They have websites dedicated to making fun of assholes like you!
16. Get a better camera. If you are going to take a close-up, please be sure that your camera can actually manage such a task.
17. I never use flash when taking photos of anything. Why? Simple, my friend. Glare. Most people take pictures of their tattoo after applying vitamin E oil or something like Tattoo Goo to their tattoo. Well, it's shiny. The light from the flash will reflect, and I can't see your tattoo with a line of reflected light down the middle of it.
18. As mentioned by Lish* in her rant about piercings, don't stick your tongue all the way out just to make sure the stud in the tip of your tongue is actually photographed.
19. As always, learn to spell the name of your piercing, or what tattoo you have. Idiot.
20. Don't take photos yourself. Seriously. Have a friend or family member take it.
*Lish's Rules For Photographing Piercings are not only informative, they are at the very least good for a laugh. They can be fully viewed here:
http://www.bmezine.com/lish.html
1. First of all, if you're going to show off your tattoo, get a decent sized picture of it. I can't see/compliment/critique it if I can't even tell what the hell it is.
2. If you're going to take a show off your piercings, please make sure you are posting a decent picture. I want to see your piercings, not how shitty your camera is.
3. By all means, feel free to post pictures of your brand-spanking-new ink on your foot, but ladies and gentlemen, please do this before taking the picture: trim your toenails, dig out any toejam, and if you're wearing nail polish on your probably ugly feet, make sure your photo is taken post-paint job.
4. If you have ugly feet, but have a tattoo on your foot, please crop out all of the ugly, misshapenness of your feet. Hell, Microsoft Paint will let you crop your photos.
5. Nape piercings, corset piercings, and other surface work can and will reject. Take the picture when it's all fresh, because anything after that point they're all scarred up, rejecting, and just nasty to look at.
6. If you are an observer of other people's work (namely ink), don't bother to leave a compliment if it's just really shitty work. Shaky lines do NOT deserve a "Wow, awesome!" It amazes me how people can lie to each other!
7. When you mix two types of tribal work, like Borneo meets Maori, it's "neo-tribal", whether you want to admit it to yourself or not.
8. Don't you people check the design before it gets put onto your body? Can't you see the lines are shaky, or maybe, I don't know, the artist CAN'T DRAW? What the hell is wrong with you?
9. Please, don't post a picture of you tattoo if it looks like it could have turned out better if it was drawn on with a Sharpie. As a matter of fact, don't show it off at all. Just pull a Nelly and wear a bandaid over it. Or scrub it off. With a cheese grater.
10. Only one picture of your last suspension experience will suffice, thank you.
11. I don't need half a dozen close ups of your tattoo. Again, just one will suffice.
12. If you're tattoo is finally healed, SCRUB THE TAPE RESIDUE from around it! You've been walking around with sticky shit around your tattoo for a week? You filthy bastard...
13. It's been done before. I know. You know. We all know, but I'd be a bit pissed if I showed off a picture of my ink and have someone say "I wanted something exactly like that! Lololol!" Fuck you, it's my ink. I don't want myself associated with your dumb ass.
14. Ashy tattoos are not sexy. If it's supposed to be in red ink, and it looks pink because your skin is as dry as the desert just outside of Las Vegas, do something. Please, moisturize before snapping that photo. Also, if you have chapped lips and you want to take a pic of you new lipring, at the very least lick your lips before taking the picture. You don't have to take the picture right away, so I actually suggest waiting after you've gone through a rigorous moisturizing regimen before posting.
15. If you're not Japanese, and don't write Japanese, DON'T FUCKING GET a Japanese tattoo! You don't know what it means, and sometimes shit like that can end up drawn sideways, backwards, and even upside-down. Don't believe me? They have websites dedicated to making fun of assholes like you!
16. Get a better camera. If you are going to take a close-up, please be sure that your camera can actually manage such a task.
17. I never use flash when taking photos of anything. Why? Simple, my friend. Glare. Most people take pictures of their tattoo after applying vitamin E oil or something like Tattoo Goo to their tattoo. Well, it's shiny. The light from the flash will reflect, and I can't see your tattoo with a line of reflected light down the middle of it.
18. As mentioned by Lish* in her rant about piercings, don't stick your tongue all the way out just to make sure the stud in the tip of your tongue is actually photographed.
19. As always, learn to spell the name of your piercing, or what tattoo you have. Idiot.
20. Don't take photos yourself. Seriously. Have a friend or family member take it.
*Lish's Rules For Photographing Piercings are not only informative, they are at the very least good for a laugh. They can be fully viewed here:
http://www.bmezine.com/lish.html
I have no idea...
Small stuff first:
I quit smoking.
I'm almost done my driving lessons.
I need a full-time job.
Big stuff:
I just got off the phone with the guy in northern Alberta. They're offering me 30 grand plus $1000 for moving expenses.
I'm still not sure if I want to stay in radio anymore. It's a guaranteed full-time job. Guaranteed salary. Problem: it's in northern Alberta. Fort McMurray to be exact. Sixty thousand strangers. And I'll be going alone. Rent's expensive, a grand a month for a matchbox.
I still want to move to Vancouver. I feel like I'm selling out, if to nobody but myself.
What am I going to do?
I quit smoking.
I'm almost done my driving lessons.
I need a full-time job.
Big stuff:
I just got off the phone with the guy in northern Alberta. They're offering me 30 grand plus $1000 for moving expenses.
I'm still not sure if I want to stay in radio anymore. It's a guaranteed full-time job. Guaranteed salary. Problem: it's in northern Alberta. Fort McMurray to be exact. Sixty thousand strangers. And I'll be going alone. Rent's expensive, a grand a month for a matchbox.
I still want to move to Vancouver. I feel like I'm selling out, if to nobody but myself.
What am I going to do?
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